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Richard P
Senior Member
United Kingdom
1701 Posts |
 Posted - 26 November 2009 : 13:58:52
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Hello all
I do not know if this is the right entry to place in here
I m sure one of the site warden or moderators will advise.
In the lead up to my BR and dealing with all of the mental stresses and strains involved in the whole process, i lost my ability to laugh at myself and tease the system. All i wanted to do was make light of a very serious situation and bring a smile perhaps a feeling of im not alone but i could not see any further than immediatly around me.
The postings and communication from fellow "Buddies" has been an immense release of pressure and i post now hoping that those that are at the stage i was 18 months ago can look at this and other threads and believe that their is light at the end of the tunnel and life is not all bad ... however bad your own situation is, when you look closely you will always find someone in a far worse situation
obviously mindful that i do not want this to be a thread for being rude to others and organisations so change the name
Is it appropriate to have a thread, that we can share some of the funny or bizare incidents involved in BR, the methods individuals have used to cope with the phone calls, the letters, the door knockers, the court, the OR, The BR time and life after Br Discharge.
IF one of the moderators permits
My question to all that read, is what coping strategies have you put in place to make you smile again and what about the whole process has made you smile ? |
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Skippy
forum expert
United Kingdom
3290 Posts |
Posted - 26 November 2009 : 14:19:41
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I have no problem with this! There is a social section on the IVA site where we can all have a chat and either about our problems or at anything else and it doesn't detract at all from the debt side.
If we could get something similar going on here it would be brilliant!
Tomorrow is a mystery, yesterday is history, today is the present, a gift to make the most of.
View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.bankruptcyhelp.org.uk/
28 IPA payments made, 8 to go - in single figures! |
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Housing
Senior Member
United Kingdom
1399 Posts |
Posted - 26 November 2009 : 17:18:30
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hi again Richard,
Boy, do I identify with what you have said in this posting...
I have been very successful in my 57 years and at times, have not cared for people who were on their uppers - never in a nasty way - but simply thought, well, I work hard etc etc.
For the past 18 months, I have seen the decline and then loss of three businesses that had serious turnovers. I have been depresssed and then attempted to take my own life before "waking up".
I am lucky that my family have been there for me - without them who knows?
Yes, I am now able to smile a bit and a bit more often I have to say.
I see my GP about once a month - the two senior partners are about my age and I have known them for years and always taken them in a bottle of "Champers" at Christmas (although one is a Hindi and should not drink or celebtate Christmas!).
One of the partners, a cockney who went to uni in the late 1960`s read medicine and went into the RAF and then as a GP - his dad was a docker who went BR about 40 plus years ago
The other (I saw today) he is an Indian, very top drawer in the heirarchy and today said on Monday his mum attempted suicide - she is depressed and a Type 2 diabetic with associated issues - so I actually spent 1/2 hour with him - offering my "expertise" to comfort him!
I have a wonderful family, no income, but that is secondary at the moment. And, yes, I see so many people who are worse off than me - I am not religious in any way, but do that "someone" for what I have - in 6 months, I will be discharged (maybe sooner).
I try to see things in a positive light and am one that loves satire (John Cleese, Peter Sellers and the like) - I also like heavy rock and have been to one concert only this year to see Oasis at the Millenium Stadium - that made me laugh and smile at the arrogance of the brothers Gallagher - but they are good entertainers.
I am drifting off at a tangent now, but yes, through sharing and getting on with matters (although difficult at times) is the only way forward.
I would like to think that the saying, "what goes round comes round" is true as there are people who are out there to make those of us who are having a hard time, have an even worse time! Their day will come.
Lets all have a supporting network and look to better times, well thought of Richard P...
regards to all, Richard
"There are no problems - only solutions..." |
Edited by - Housing on 26 November 2009 17:38:51 |
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RHB
Senior Member
1159 Posts |
Posted - 27 November 2009 : 07:28:43
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I'm not sure it is necessarily true that what goes around comes around, comforting though it is to think that!!
BUT, the best things in life are free, laughter, your health, your family, a beautiful morning (says she looking out of the window at the pouring rain lol!!!)
One of my all time favourite books is Solzenitzyn's "One day in the life of Alexander Denisovitch". Sums up how the small things matter & mans ability to make the best of what he has got. |
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Skippy
forum expert
United Kingdom
3290 Posts |
Posted - 27 November 2009 : 09:47:53
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Well said RHB. The most important thing is health - if you've got that you can do most things. I know I've got a wonderful family, and I've found out who my friends are.
Tomorrow is a mystery, yesterday is history, today is the present, a gift to make the most of.
View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.bankruptcyhelp.org.uk/
28 IPA payments made, 8 to go - in single figures! |
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a360
Starting Member
2 Posts |
Posted - 15 December 2009 : 11:32:53
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Please my friend, please stay positive. I too being through bankruptcy few years ago and I contemplate suicide. Forutnately, from the love of my friends and family, I survived. Now, I am glad that I did not take that path. If there is one thing that make me smile, it is definitely my lovely child!
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Richard P
Senior Member
United Kingdom
1701 Posts |
Posted - 15 December 2009 : 12:27:07
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A360 Thank you for support
is your link one of the approved links by the forum host ?
If so look forward to seeing you as one of our experts if NOT please remove link as this is not the appropriate forum to paste it
thank you Richard |
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Jane.l
Average Member
511 Posts |
Posted - 15 December 2009 : 12:31:49
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| nah, its just spam |
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Niobe
Administrator
United Kingdom
4590 Posts |
Posted - 15 December 2009 : 12:52:20
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It will be removed shortly.
The glimmer gets brighter all the time
Jan
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averagejoegoesbankrupt
Starting Member
United Kingdom
28 Posts |
Posted - 15 December 2009 : 20:26:46
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You make an excellent point - bankruptcy (leading up to, etc) is terrifying and stressful (looking at this site is one of the few things to reduce the terror).
We all have to remember (and this is rich coming from me because I'm only one month into bankruptcy on Thursday - not that I'm counting) that this awful thing that we are all going through is (hopefully!) for only a short period of our lives - and yet it consumes everything. You forget what fun is, let alone actually get any.
After a month I think I'm only now just getting my life back to some semblance of normality, getting more relaxed at home, etc.
I'm slowly learning to be 'me' again - if that makes any sense!
One other thing worth noting - my phone calls to the banks after my bankruptcy - now *that* was fun!
Average Joe
http://averagejoegoesbankrupt.blogs.bankruptcyhelp.org.uk/ |
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glafy
forum expert
436 Posts |
Posted - 27 January 2011 : 16:03:33
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I was sat at home flicking through the forums & noticed this thread. I see it hasn't been used for a while so I thought I would post on here.
My Husband & I (do I sound like The Queen?) BR November 2010, everything going smoothly....I hope!!
I have to say that I thought I was coping really well until 2 weeks ago when I started with anxiety attacks. I knew exactly what the problem was (BR) but still couldn't understand why I was so stressed. Quick visit to a very nice (young!) GP and there I was signed off work for 2 weeks. Advice on stress management given along with some sleeping tabs if required.
Nearly 2 weeks later I am feeling so much better & hope to return to work next week. I am so lucky to have a supportive Husband, family & Friends (only a few know) & without them I am not so sure that I would be feeling this good right now.
Some people may not have such a network so I think the odd let off of steam or a good old laugh on this site could be a big tonic.
I know that I slightly lost my sense of humour over Christmas  but I feel it's back to almost normal now and I am feeling much better for it 
I have to agree with a previous poster that 'phoning the companies who send out those threatening letters was a true therapy 
So don't forget everyone that there is a light at the end of the tunnel & (try) keep smiling.
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Richard P
Senior Member
United Kingdom
1701 Posts |
Posted - 27 January 2011 : 17:37:07
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gosh this posting takes me back
Glafy it does get better over time, honest
it is only now that I realise what powerful creatures we are as individuals, the 20 + creditor phone calls a day, post sacks of hate mails, hiding from every big van in case it was baliffs. All stopped back to worrying about the weather and my footie team losing again.
14 months later mentally i feel 4 stone lighter shame the body has not kept up !!!
For those watching the forum threating about debts, please take positive steps to attack the debt, have a conversation with any of the experts,the first call conversation is normally free, it was the best call that I made. (ill get off my soap box now)
It doesnot matter if you obtain an IVA, DMP, negotiated settlement or bankruptcy look at all of the available options and take action.
so what is your good news or coping strategy ?
Richard P |
Edited by - Richard P on 27 January 2011 17:39:12 |
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emm
Starting Member
United Kingdom
31 Posts |
Posted - 27 January 2011 : 21:37:30
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| Just wanted to say how glad I am that I came across this forum. I have spent the last week or so reading all the posts and getting as much info as I can from the experiences of others. Then this evening I read this post and realised that my impending BR is actually having more of an effect on me than I thought, always saw myself as someone who could cope with anything, but having experienced what I can only describe as panic attacks in the last few days I realise that maybe I am not so strong after all. It's good to hear from others who have been through it or are going through it and be able to draw on their experiences and coping strategies. Thanks to all, Emm |
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glafy
forum expert
436 Posts |
Posted - 27 January 2011 : 22:21:09
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Hi Emm
Nice to hear from you.
Isn't this site just great. I really don't know how we would have got through the last few months without the support & wealth of knowledge on these pages.
You sound rather like me Emm, as I too thought I could cope with most things but just goes to show that we all have our limits.
The positive side is that you have found & posted on this site & so have the support of people who have been & still are in the same boat!!
Keep smiling & beleive as Richard says "it really does get better"
Wise words from him, I have decided that I am having it as my Mantra!!! LOL
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nuishyboy1
Starting Member
United Kingdom
15 Posts |
Posted - 28 January 2011 : 23:07:00
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hi to everyone on the site.I would like to say that after joining this forum the other nite it is such a pleasure to read nice comments to each other .people who are down and out mentally trying to help one another,lots of thanking going on,and people so grateful for other peoples help.allot of forums as u know are full of unhelpful ignorant members who love to snipe and bitch with one another,not this site though,its as if the people helping feel your pain,cause they have either been there and dunnit or are good listeners,any one reading posts dont be scared to post,youre not alone,these guys on here will help,so post away
nuishka
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glafy
forum expert
436 Posts |
Posted - 31 January 2011 : 22:58:03
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I have discovered that my (young!) doctor is rather wise. I popped back today thinking I would be returning to work tomorrow & he refused to let me go back. He said I need more time to de-stress, which I will do 
I ended up telling him all about this Forum & how much it has helped being in touch with people who have dealt with or are dealing with the same (ish) issues.
I'm feeling very positive at the moment,
"It really does get better"
"It really does get better"
"It really does get better"
Maybe they could prescribe this Forum on the NHS.....!
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Topic |
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coping strategies and occasional smile
