John .. we are just so lucky to have you! Last year I was bullied on the phone into parting with my £300.00 rent money from a well known Credit Card Company I felt intimidated and even though they knew the money was for my rent they bullied me into parting with it and took my debit card details before letting me off the phone. I did write to them the next day to ask if I could have the £300.00 money refunded to pay my rent but they totally ignored my letter and I was in arrears with my rent and had to phone the CAB for advice.
My other two creditors were well known Banks who told me going bankrupt would be the worse thing I could ever do so I continued living on beans and chips and making the minimnum payments to all 3 creditors for years mostly just interest as the debts never reduced down. Interest was frozen temporarily and they added it back on again after 6 months so it was snakes and ladders all the time. [Ignorance is certainly not bliss]. Being in my 50's you would have thought I would have known better but I believed everything they told me and have never been able to discuss this with friends/family who would have been appalled at the mess I was in when I broached the subject re someone else. I finally took the plunge last November and feel like a weight has been lifted after all these years ... thank you everyone .. why did I have to learn the hard way ... my health has suffered through not eating properly for years as I was so broke.
Sadly your story is all too common. So many people of a certain age have been brought up to believe that bankruptcy is a terrible thing, that we have failed ourselves, our family and friends and brought shame on ourselves and everyone we know.
Naturally we all feel guilt of some kind. I certainly won't forget realising that the home and business we once owned was lost. My kids no longer had a safe haven and we were desperate to know what the future had in store. Truth is we still do.
What we have learnt from it all is that there is no shame, most if the impact has gone completely over the heads of our children, we have a roof over our heads, food on the table and most importantly each other. Bankruptcy is a very difficult decision to make but once made and the process is over the vast majority wish they had done so much much earlier. How many of us realise that the whole purpose is to free us from the anxiety that comes with knowing we could not possibly pay our debts in our own lifetime. Most of us look upon it as a form of punishment.
I'm not one to advocate bankruptcy unless it's necessary but I do think the government have a responsibility to ensure every one of us is better informed about every aspect of it so we can make an informed decision before it all gets too much.
It's virtually impossible to persuade anyone facing bankruptcy that family and people are all that matter and that material things can be replaced or maybe are not necessary anyway. The stress at the time probably impacts in the same way as family bereavement. How will we cope? Few bankrupts worry for themselves, but are scared rigid by the effect on their family.
Unfortunately when we face such difficulties the advice available is far from reassuring. I don't blame CAB or any other organisation but the fact is they do not have the resource to train staff sufficiently so as to be able to answer questions that need to be answered or to give the guidance needed. Frankly I don't know of any advisory tool that provides in depth, quality advice free of charge but I do feel this forum is as close as I have found.How it could be done I haven't a clue but I do wish it could somehow reach a much wider audience. Every single post has the potential to help someone and every new member soon realises they are not alone.
Hello John It was lovely to read your thoughts on all this. I believed creditors were supposed to help you but once they find out what is going on they turn into predators and the torture begins in earnest. Many times I explained to them what had happened but they just talked over me and said my minimum payments offer was not acceptable because it was too low and I had to come up with a better offer which I was not able to do. I offered to pay what I could afford after showing them my outgoings/incomings and it was rejected even though they could see there was no money and I explained I had no family members to help which is want they also wanted to know. I was so terrified they would take me to court and stand me up in front of a judge and when they said the debts had been passed on to collection agencies it sounded like the Mafia had bought the debts.
I am glad it has passed by now the sad thing is I have nothing to show for the money I took out on loan .. stupidly lent money to so called friends who were going through hard times who never gave any of it back and I never seen them anymore.
But have moved on lesson learnt although very painful and I still have my rented accommodation which I was able to stay in.
John .. we are just so lucky to have you!
Posted - 14 April 2009 : 12:38:28
